Today was my first day back to college and it wasn’t as great as I thought it would be. When I was leaving my house this morning, I didn’t take into consideration the fact that (1) it was the first day of the semester and (2) there was going to be, without a doubt, a lot of traffic around campus and in the parking structures.
I left my house a good 45 minutes before class started, thinking I was going to make it. But seeing as how the backup traffic slipped my mind, I was caught it what was almost an hours worth of traffic once I actually got to school.
When I finally reached a parking spot on the rooftop floor of the structure, I didn’t turn off my car. I was a 35 minutes late to class and was having a bit of an anxiety attack. I don’t like being late, not to school, or woek for that matter.
Not just because I miss the first part of class that might be something important but also because I hate walking in and have everyone stare at me, including the professor.
When I first realized just how late I was going to be, well that I was going to be late in the first place, I began to start getting panicky. I was literally on the verge of crying, my eyes were building up tears and my breathing was becoming heavier. Common for me when I’m having small anxiety attacks.
I sat in my car, literally trying to convince myself to take deep breaths and walk to class. But I was frozen, my heart thudding incredibly fast, and gaining a headache. And no matter how many times I told myself to get out, I couldn’t. I didn’t.
I missed my first class because my lateness caused such an overwhelming amount of anxiety.
I’m not a big fan of first days of school or meeting new people or going through much alone (I’m very much an introvert). I already had anxiety going in, but the turn of events made it just a whole lot worse.
The rest of the day wasn’t so bad up until I was assigned a small presentation to do on Wednesday and the group presentations we’ll be giving in a couple weeks for my other class. I already have tests and quizzes at the end of the week and I’m just not loving it.
I enjoy going to class and learning new things on new subjects. But everything kind of makes me want to hide and never go back.
Tomorrow, I’ll be leaving an hour, maybe more, earlier just to try and avoid all of this again. I get to go to my English class tomorrow, so fingers crossed I don’t miss that.
Hopefully you guys had a better first day, better monday, than I did.