Papa’s Day

Hello there, February!

You have been waited for since the beginning of the month; after the holiday craze has died out and we feel the need to have an excuse to buy ourselves enormous amounts of chocolate and giant stuffed teddy bears. I’ve stopped myself at least once or twice already.

As “romantic” and fully loved as you are, it’s hard for me to welcome you with open arms. You’re a bit of a painful memory to revisit every year. I’ve never really been engrossed with your Valentine’s day celebration. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve had my fair share of special people for Valentine’s Day and it’s pretty fun to celebrate it. I’ve just never cared for it as much as other holidays (like thanksgiving!).

But celebrating you now, even considering making any plans with my boyfriend, just makes me feel guilty. My grandpa loved Valentine’s Day and all things love. I’d come home from school and there would always be one single red rose on my pillows from him. I guess you can say I got my love and appreciation for small gestures from growing up with the one man who did them for me.

It’s kind of fitting that that was the day he thought was a good day to leave us; a day full of love, being surrounded by people who loved him and whom were his entire life. It’s fitting because now that day belongs to him.

It’s bittersweet.

If I do celebrate you, all my love is dedicated to him.

So you see, you are both loved and slightly dreaded, February. But you are never hated.

I still enjoy seeing all the red and pink hearts, the teddy bears, and chocolates everywhere. I still get kind excited when I get anything from my boyfriend or mom or stepdad. I still laugh at all those funny Valentine’s Day cards and get just as annoyed with all those “too all over themselves” kind of couples, like others do.

You can have every other day of your month and I will gladly celebrate you. But Valentine’s Day belongs to my grandpa.

I’m letting you know ahead of time so we don’t get our schedules mixed up.

So I’ll see you tomorrow morning and I hope that you and I get along swimmingly.