I told myself this month that if I didn’t get my tattoo by the end of summer, then I won’t get one at all. Why? Because I had all this free time over the summer and a new hefty paycheck and that would mean I was just making up excuses NOT to get it. Whether it’s because I’m not one who does permanent, spontaneous things or because I keep letting other people’s judgment enter my head? I don’t know. But it was clear that I was making as many excuses as I could to keep pushing it back and I didn’t like that.
This past Saturday was my day off and I’d just gotten paid this past Friday. So I took a risk, picked up my cousin, and drove over to a tattoo shop by her house. I only told one other person this time. Every time I “attempted” to go get it, I told about a handful of people. I feel like over-hyping it and claiming that I was going to get it and telling so many people might have discouraged me from actually doing it earlier. Yet another excuse up my sleeve. The only people that new this time were my coworker and the cousin that came with me.
It’s small and on the inside of my middle finger on my right hand. It means “create your own reality” in viking symbols. The original tattoo I wanted is a quote and is going to be placed on my wrist, but I felt that it was right to get this one first. Not just because it’s small and now I know what I’m in for for when I go back for something bigger. But because I put off so many things in my life that I really want to do but don’t for reasons or excuses that come up. It’s a reminder that if I want something or if I want to do something, I have to get out of the fantasy I’m in in my head and actually get it done. I need to make it my own reality or else I’m going to be living a life I am settling for because I want to play it safe.
As for why my middle finger? It’s in a place that I am always going to see it. It’s small enough for me to hide it if I want to keep it intimate for myself. Also because I need to say “fuck it” sometimes to make certain things happen. I need to tell certain people to fuck off so I can get where I want to go. Simply, it’s a daily encouragement.
Everyone in my family knew I wanted a tattoo, but because I’ve been saying I was going to get it for so long, I don’t think anyone believed I actually would. My mom didn’t believe me and thought I was joking. Then immediately said that I was going to have to explain it to whoever looked at it. But really? I didn’t get this for other people. I got this for myself.
My stepdad already gave me a snarky look when he saw that it was on my hand. I’m expecting the “you just ruined future job opportunities” lecture to come real soon. The only person I was ever worried about was my grandma because she’s very vocal and traditional when it comes to tattoos. I remember when my older cousin got his a few years ago, she didn’t take it very well. Even my aunt warned me that I’m going to be in trouble with her soon. I’ll keep you posted on that.
P.S. I have a month before I go back to school and because tomorrow is the first of a new month, I want to try a blogging challenge. Because I know myself and how easily forget to do certain things, instead of it being a daily challenge, I’ll post something every other day. If I end up posting anything day after day, then it’s a surprise for all of us. But if not, expect updates every other day for the next month.
I’m also going to try and write a page or so a day of one of my stories. So I’ll keep you updated on that as well.
Goodbye July, Hello August!