Hello my fellow writers!
February is six days away from being over and I’ve yet to stick to a schedule to post on here regularly. What else is new?
School update: Midterms are coming up for me, and despite being so overwhelmed with schoolwork, I’ve gained some pride in the work that I’ve done thus far- except for keeping up with the assigned reading, of course. That’s still a struggle I’m trying to work on. I just turned in my first revised draft for my semester long project for my narrative writing class and I’m so happy with how I was able to stretch it out into something that could be a part of a larger story.
Life update: How has being single been for me? A complete and utter mess for the last seven months. Technically, I’ve been single since the end of last June. Unfortunately, I was stuck in this weird, emotional situation-relationship with the guy for the last seven months that was unhealthy and so time and energy consuming that I lost a little too much weight stressing out about it. That officially ended last month. We haven’t talked since. All the pictures are (mainly) deleted and I don’t have any trace of messages from him anywhere on my phone or on my social media. It’s been rough, but also a relief to let go of so much emotional weight.
Though I don’t normally go out of my way to celebrate Valentine’s Day (as you know is also my grandpa’s death anniversary), this year I did. My girlfriends and I planned a girl’s night out. It was a therapy session I didn’t know I needed.
I’ve known two of then since my sophomore year of high school-Sharon and Daisy. The third was one of Daisy’s friends from college. I didn’t have class that day (I’d dropped one of my five classes and my other class was canceled). So I went and got my eyebrows done, did some chores and laundry, and waited for one of my girlfriends to show up. Our plan was to go to Cheesecake Factory, take loads of pictures, and watch Fifty Shades Darker.
Sharon showed up at around one-thirty. We put her stuff- shoes, dress options, and makeup bags- in my room and went out to get some food before beginning to get ready. We started getting ready around two-thirty. We played music, laughed, and caught up with what’s been going on in our lives in the few weeks we hadn’t seen each other. I went back and forth to her while she was doing her hair in the bathroom for makeup tips. She’s the makeup guru in our group and currently taking cosmetology classes.
Daisy and her friend, Valery, showed up around four-thirty, ready to go. I’d met Valery briefly before. But not enough to really call her a friend. Sharon and I were worried that she would feel left out or awkward being with two people she doesn’t know. We thought that we would have to censor ourselves for the night. But she fit in perfectly, and added to our girl talk about fuckboys and sexual experiences.
Sharon took a lot longer with her makeup than we thought she would. And by the time that we reached the restaurant, the wait was almost an hour and a half long. So we opted out of dinner and went straight to the movies. We bought our tickets, reserved our seats, and ate hot dogs and drank wine while we waited for the staff to allow us inside. I turned 21 back in December and really only legally had a margarita and one glass of champagne since then. I’m wasn’t a big drinker to begin with, and I didn’t have a lot to eat, so the effects of the wine went to my head almost immediately. But I wasn’t the only one.
We were the group of girls that were giggling and moving around too much in the lobby. We had no shame. We promised each other that we would go out more often so we could all build up our alcohol tolerance, and make sure we eat a good meal beforehand. We already had plans to spend New Year’s in Vegas- in celebration of not just the new year but also Sharon turning 21 (she was our designated driver for the night).
It was a simple and short night. We didn’t mind. It was a night that I think was way overdue for all of us. I ‘d spent a all of my teenage years being in relationships, clinging to them and basically making my boyfriend the person I spent all my time with. I focused so much of my experiences on being made with that other person. I’d neglected time spent alone with my friends. I’d neglected my own free time, and my independence from my relationship.
I realized a lot of things that night; about myself, the way my mind has been working lately and how my heart’s been stuck in a past time when things were simple and perfect. I was afraid that this year, I’d realize that I had no one else to make new memories with. But sitting inside that car were two girls that have become two-thirds of my soul since I was sixteen/seventeen. And I gained another friend who fit in as if she was meant to always be there.
I’ve been in a weird happy and anxious mood lately. I started off the year thinking it was going to be a struggle to get through and that I was going to be stuck in the same situation as I ended 2016. But now, I’m excited to really see what I’m capable of, what experiences I’m going to have, and the places I’m going to go.